Green Thumb Therapy: How plants and perimenopause go together

 What Do You Do When God Is Silent?

                Comparison is the thief of joy.  When we feel God is silent that is when our joy is stolen.  I am currently going through my 'silent' moment with God.  I honestly feel like God is tone deaf when it comes to me.  When life happen (and it will) we find ourselves going down the rabbit hole of the shoulda, coulda, woulda, and we look at the lives of others and compare where we are in our current state.  We start comparing finances, marital status, outward appearances, family life, etc.  You get so caught up in 'comparison shopping' that you leave the door open to depression, anxiety, frustration, and anger (just to name a few).  

                I am learning not to exasperate my situation by comparing myself to others.  I can't let depression, anxiety, anger and everything that comes with comparison win.  I started to look within.  I held myself accountable for the role I played in my own demise.  Accountability is an ugly thing, but it is needed and the outcome is beautiful.  I stopped focusing on what I don't have and turned my attention to the treasures that I have within.  I am creative, smart, and funny (just naming a few of my positive attributes 😍).  

                At my big age (47) I still have a safe haven to turn to.  I am currently living with my parents rent free, my dad is a master chef in the kitchen 😋, and my mom adds some of my personal needs/wants to her shopping list.  All of my siblings are still alive and are able bodied and in their right mind.  I have my health, mobility, and sanity (sometimes 😏).  Not everyday living with parents as an adult is easy but I would rather be here than stuck in an unhappy marriage/relationship.  I am child free (thank God I don't care what anyone says) and my plants are by babies 😊.  

                I can look back over my life without mourning my loss (job, house, money, etc.) because I know if I had it before I will have it again.  Going through the silent treatment with God isn't easy but you can't lean to your own understanding (sounds familiar huh).  When God is 'silent' that is when hell is the loudest.  Don't start listening to hell like I did because it will only set you back.  Therapy helped me to stop listening to hell and I am a better woman for it.  I have my days and moments but I am better mentally.  I also started writing in my journal more and got a self help spiritual workbook called, Strength in the Struggle by Lauren Ibach https://amzn.to/3SVQthU, this workbook focuses on fear and anxiety.  The book also have sections where you can write about yourself/trouble and gives guidance on how to pray during your struggle(s).  I read the bible stories of people that overcame obstacles way bigger than mine.   If God can deliver Paul from prison and Daniel out of a lions den, then surely he can deliver me!  

                 During your silent moment with God, don't get angry with God.  God's silence is a way of watching you, guiding you, seeing what you are made of.  How can you exercise your faith without going through a storm?  You can't walk through the valley with fear.  God has already equipped you before the silence. You are already prepared when life happens; that is when you go into your 'spiritual bag' and start pulling out gifts, tools, talent(s), wisdom, discernment, and knowledge.  

                From my own personal experience of my 'silent moment' is when I discovered I have a gift of restoring old furniture; I am a creative writer (hint this blog and my plant eBook 😁); and I have the power to bring people together through my Facebook group Black Girls Who Flip Furniture https://www.facebook.com/groups/270557728062579/?ref=share_group_link&mibextid=wwXIfr.  These are only my highlights!  God is not through with me yet!  This is your moment of being a vessel and being used by God.  God is speaking through your self discovery, perseverance, and sustainability.  

                Don't give up or get weary.  As I am writing this blog I am encouraging myself and you too.  Don't you want to know what is on the other side of the storm?  Don't want to look a the view from the mountain top?  You gotta go through the valley first.  You gotta endure the hardship.  You have to experience this moment of silence and realize that is when God is speaking the loudest.  Here are a few helpful scriptures that will guide you during your moment of silence: 

For Guidance: Psalms 1:6

For Overcoming Obstacles: Psalms 23 and Psalms 24:7

Hope and Renewal: Psalms 118:24

Breaking Through Barriers: Psalms 65

Broken Heart: Psalms 34:18

Protection: Psalms 91

Wisdom: James 1:5

                We already have the victory, just waiting to see the manifestation.  I can't wait to tell my testimony and I am ready to read yours! Now rest in God's 'silence'.